On Your Marks. Get Set. Go!

I want to be a runner. When I stated this my father snorted as if I failed before I even began, my 3 year old daughter became distressed about who would make her breakfast and my Grandmother started worrying about my joints. Totally glossing over the fact that hefting around an extra 20 kilos wouldn't cause more destruction to my overall health.
I'm in no disillusion at the state my body is in. I've had three babies in four years. Two c-sections and a gall bladder removed. A survived a short (5 months) but powerful bout of post natal depression. I watch my ten month old try to take her first step walking and I feel the same way when I try to will my body to run. It would be nice to use my three children as an excuse for my physical state but the truth is that I wasn't in much better physical health before having kids either. Actually worse.

For awhile I spent time "researching" running, it made me feel like I was already doing it without leaving my bed. But the more I read seeking for inspiration the more discouraged I felt. Women trying to shift the extra 2 kilos before their wedding, the people who found marathons too easy and now doing "ultra marathons". How does someone who can literally run ten steps relate to this? I feel like the only person who really wanted to run but can't. Like that little train that chugged up the mountain spouting "I think I can I think I can I think I can."

I may not be able to hold my head up high yet and call myself a runner but I am certainly a multitasker. If I want to crack this running malarkey I am going to have to make time because I've looked and I can't find anymore. I have a daily meditation practise, which sometimes because a daily cleaning / nappy changing / buggy pushing / driving mindfulness meditation practise but now is going to evolve into running practise. Meditating, sedately on a mountain may work for monks but I have to be realistic here. If my body is my temple than mine is in serious need of renovation and it isn't going to happen sitting on my bottom meditating. The idea of combining the two appeals to me because I know that I will need all the higher power help I can get. My Dad's snort is ringing in my ears like a motor reving its engine.